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AITAH – My fiancé wants to be a Stay-At-Home-Fiancé

Relationships often come with their share of challenges, and in this case, we explore a situation where a newly-engaged couple faces differing views on career choices and financial independence. Let’s break down the story and examine the perspectives of both parties involved.

The protagonist (OP) is engaged to Emma, a talented and organized marketing professional. OP, a researcher in a tech firm, is neurodivergent and values Emma’s support, particularly in areas where he struggles, such as organization. They have a balanced relationship, and both partners are financially stable.

Before their engagement, the couple discussed their finances and decided to split expenses proportionally based on their respective incomes. This arrangement aimed to ensure fairness while considering their financial circumstances.

The issue arises when Emma requests to quit her job and become a stay-at-home fiancée. She justifies this decision by stating her intention to plan their upcoming wedding meticulously. OP is taken aback by the proposal and questions its validity, prompting a significant argument.

Emma’s desire to quit her job at a young age and become a stay-at-home fiancée raises concerns for OP. He believes that her career independence is valuable and emphasizes the importance of maintaining it, especially given their current financial stability and the absence of immediate plans for children.

The couple’s disagreement highlights contrasting perspectives on the role of career and financial independence within their relationship. Emma sees their partnership as a team where financial contributions are unnecessary, while OP values financial security and independence for both individuals.

The conflict revolves around whether it’s reasonable for Emma to leave her job to plan their wedding, especially when they can comfortably afford her to stay at home. Emma’s desire for a non-traditional role as a stay-at-home fiancée may have triggered the dispute.

Ultimately, resolving this issue may require open communication, compromise, and understanding each other’s viewpoints. It’s essential for the couple to have a candid discussion about their long-term goals and expectations regarding financial roles within their relationship, with the aim of finding a solution that works for both of them.

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